Wednesday, August 1, 2007

How much strength...

actually comes from within ourselves? As human beings, we're consistently reaching out for others - whether for other's approval, or other's support. For instance - why create an online journal if no one else is going to read it? What part of us thrives on outside attention, how much of it is necessary, and how much of it do we need to stifle? Where do we draw the line, and where do we re-teach ourselves to be self-reliant once more? C.S. Lewis' depiction of the genuine Christian was a person who, Lewis claims, doesn't "need" anyone. Lewis even warns the reader that falling into the trap of "wanting to be needed" or wanting to "feel needed" is a grave mistake. How is that prevented - and why do we fall into that trap?

How many times have I told myself that that was all that mattered - just being "needed," as if I did not exist without the necessity of my presence requested from some other source. If someone else didn't need me, I wouldn't cease to exist, but I find that most people that have that fear have a low self-image, or else are just so incredibly afraid of being lonely that they'll go to all lengths possible just to know that someone is not going to forget about them.

It's sad, isn't it? Equally sad is that fact that it's a constant struggle, no matter how often people can say the recognize it in themselves - we live in a world of distant relationships, grasping for love like grasping for straws. We'd all be fools if we tried to say we were able to "get over" every little flaw we recognize in ourselves.

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